I'm doin a-okay

 Lately I've been really trying to follow Mel with her Let Them Theory.  I'm going to buy that book. I already get the idea of it but I still like to read into the way others think of and tell a story. I'm aware that I look for aspects of myself in others and critique them. What confuses me is that it's me in the past I seek and then bitch about. There are so many parts of my past that I truly wish I could go back and change.  It makes me wonder if that's the reason I can't move on to a better phase. Personally I keep saying that my life will be less chaotic once I have a vehicle on the road.  Maybe it won't though.  There are internal feelings that vary in favor of buying a car or not.  I really need a vehicle in case of emergencies with one of my children. It's been 4 years that I've struggled getting them places they needed to be and it's the worst feeling in the world knowing your child needs something like the doctor or dentist though having no way to get them there. I complain about not living along a transportation line such as the bus, train, or even Ubers and taxi's, but  ultimately I don't live too far out from civilization.  In whatever direction you chose to go it was at least 45 minutes to Wal-Mart.  I guess it was nice in such a way that when we chose to go there shopping we had 5 different ones we could go to considering what direction we chose.  Wal-Mart delivery has been a pure blessing to the kids and I. I know that I complain too much about my life and how hard it is and that I wish I never did this to myself though I am so lucky to have my 3 children.  I'm lucky I have a job that I can walk to because I don't have a vehicle.  I'm very grateful to have the ability to walk to my job.  The school is in walking distance.  Across the street is a lawn and garden store that sells all sorts of stuff between cleaning supplies, paint, pain supplies, tools, plumbing needs, nails, screws, bird seed, potting soil, animal food, and animal supplies.  They have a wide variety of outdoor needs.  There are churches on each corner and a library as well as a food pantry that does so much for our community.  There is a post office, pizza place, bank at one end of the little town and in the opposite direction is the school, a doctors office, a fancy restaurant down the side road, and best yet across from the school is The Local where I am happily employed and i'm overwhelmed with joy.  I really am so thankful. This is so much more than I could ask for.