Every Other Weekend- shafted

Even though my mom was my primary resource my dad still played a huge part in my life. I always had what I needed as well as many things I didn't need.  My dad always made sure to tell me he loved me. He always called, sent me cards, sent me letters, and often sent me money.  My mom showed me a letter that she received from my dad at one point that basically thanked her for being a kind and understanding person that never pursued child support. He claimed that if she had he'd never have gotten as far as he did in life. 

As for my opinion on child support, I feel that it's for absent parents not failed relationships. First I have to say that I do believe and understand that there are certain situations that are just not safe for anyone let alone a young child. Naturally no child should ever be made to go to or left in an unsafe environment. It is very sad when your child ends up in the hands of the other parent who is not stable enough and an incident occurs that unfortunately ends with a child getting hurt or killed. Since these situations are occurring more and more I think it's important when a child is born to unmarried parents there should automatically be a court order in place.There should be a form to file before leaving the hospital that depicts a future that is in the best interest of the child.  Or maybe something else could be done to make people be in their children's lives.  To me, child support is for the parent who up and left, walked away, fell off the face of the earth.  It's not for a failed relationship.  People who just parted ways because they weren't working out but still want to be in their kids lives shouldn't have to pay child support.  If it's court ordered that they take their kids such and such of times then there isn't an issue (typically). If a judge can use a court order for a parent to pay child support or face jail time then a judge can issue a court order mandating people to split their time with said child(ren).  

How is someone supposed to work and pay child support from jail? It's a contradiction and a binding one.  Also, for the parents who do get visitation of a child they see and provide for, why should they have to pay child support to the other parent? The false impression is that when someone is in arrears with child support they start thinking that they can hustle for the money to pay it off and that it will dismiss the restraints from seeing their kids. In my opinion it's mostly women that get scorned and proceed to use the child as leverage though men have been known to play the game too. Depending on how long it takes for the parents to really move on is how long the child gets used as a ploy. It doesn't matter what age the child is because they can feel any sort of tension and it's only teaching them. Children absorb all that they hear us say and all that they see us do. If you got a long at one point well enough for sex then you should be grown up enough to focus on how you can get along for the child while parting ways.  When it's been established that there is no relationship any longer then great, the worst part is over.  Now you can find ways to just be the best parent's that you can be. If it's court ordered that the child is to split their time between mom and dad then each parent should be prepared for said child without the need for packing a bag to go.  

I have 3 children each with different fathers. My oldest child and his dad have always been in each others lives but that doesn't mean shit for when he's home with me.  Being the only adult to 3 kids has been the most challenging job so far.  I know what it's like to do it all on my own without even the least bit of help or moral support.  Personally I don't think it's funny or cute when grown adults are making each others lives terribly chaotic all in front of children. Demanding child support rather than encouraging time with the child is so greedy and there should be laws that prevent anyone from having to pay support if their intentions are to stay in the child's life.  It's inhumane to allow an active parent to be expected to pay their own bills, get back and forth to work whether in their own vehicle or paying for a ride then also expected to dish out the money every other weekend for food, and fun activities when it's their time with the kids.  This becomes the "bad" parent or the "mean" parent.  This parent gets the real shit end of the stick. To Be Continued...